Yesterday I enrolled for classes at my college.  Besides for having a panic attack mid-enrollment and not getting into any classes that I wanted to be in, it went pretty terrible.  I’ll just say that my schedule could only be enjoyed by an independent 85-year old woman.

The enrollment process is a race and as a freshman with a last name that is in the last half of the alphabet, it’s a race that I can’t win.  It’s kind of like a marathon that all the students race in.  Seniors are given four wheelers to ride and freshmen are forced to run and have their feet cut off.

I put about 60 classes in my “Course Cart”.  (You put classes in your course cart online, these are the possible classes that you are interested in taking)  I had the last enrollment time so I was rushing to pick my classes, hoping to get in them before they were full.  I panicked and just clicked enroll.  I thought there was another step.  But there wasn’t.  So I enrolled in all the open classes that were in my course cart.  I enrolled in 40 classes.  Welp somebody’s going to have a busy Winter semester.

Of course the available classes that I was enrolled in, were none of the real classes that I’m required to take.  So I needed to spend the next hour dropping out of the 40 classes that I just enrolled for.  Then I had to go back in and find some of the required classes that were still open.  Then of course the required classes that were still open start at the crack of dawn.

And while I’m going through this process of clicking classes, the website just keeps signing me out.  “You’ve been on here for 5 minutes.  Your time is up.”  Then I’d need to sign back in and continue what I was doing.  If this were a person telling me this I’d say, “No, my time isn’t up.  I’m very upset and I need to stay on and enroll in these classes.”  Then I would kick the person in the shin.  But it wasn’t a real person so I needed to just take it on the chin and sign back in a couple of minutes.

The enrollment website looks like it was set up by Thomas Edison a hundred years ago and it hasn’t changed since.  The website is like a Flintstones car that has square wheels.  It’s slow.  The speed of the site costs you a lot of time and really cuts into precious Netflix watching time.  I don’t mean I’m watching the movie Precious on Netflix and I’m not able to watch it as much as I’d like, I mean that I enjoy watching various things on Netflix so that time is precious to me.  Sorry for the misunderstanding.

After I accidently signed up for my classes next term.  I reviewed my professors on Ratemyprofessor.com.  I shouldn’t have done that.  Let’s just say there’s quite the possibility that I will walk into a class next semester and hear, “Good morning students, I am Professor Satan and welcome to Hell…cough…cough…ummm….I mean math class.”

Man, I just panicked and I blew it.  I was shaking like a high school kid taking the ACT who had a 1.5 GPA and it really cost me.  But I think I will be able to do a lot of damage control over the next few weeks to shape my schedule into something that will fit into my life properly.

-AJ Lubecker


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